MONDAY: training day 1, hate counting this but ill do it anyway just to count how many days ill be in the race. woke up early today but i didn't get up immediately, felt lonely since this would be a start of another episode in my life.
around 9am when i stood up and prepared to go to training. took a bath, dressed up, ate brunch, went to training almost 30 mins. my scheduled time. i arrived on time for the first day of training. the whole training went well, but it wasn't that exciting like it used to be. my whole day went by just like that. you can't blame me for feeling this way since im clear with myself with what i want.
log out came, and it was the happiest moment of that day. felt that i was free again :D i went straight home. ate dinner with mom. i surfed the net, and checked some updates in fb then i watched another dvd i bought yesterday that i wasn't able to watch. now, during those time at home, i was feeling a bit weird because i was kinda edgy and pushy. i was texting my princess that time and i kinda pushed myself a lil over the line. i felt so bad because my old habits were kicking in and overpowering me. i really felt bad that i can't get over what happened. i apologize for what i did, and she said to let it pass by, but i was still down about it.
a few moments past and i think my princess fell asleep since she didn't reply and it was around midnight, then i reflected on the situation. that's when i found out that external factors were affecting me even-though i was mastering my emotion and kept my values. "you're like a wall, and everyone is throwing spaghetti and pizza on you. though if it hits, there's some pieces that sticks to you." said my mentor and friend, coach dylan way back. that saying rang in my head the whole time and i was reflecting.
i was again aware of what's happening, i did understand how it came to be. and the reconditioning starts right after. this would promote change.
my dear readers, change starts from somewhere and that somewhere is when you realize who you are at the situation. its like zeroing-in your coordinates then map out your way from that point. if you realize that you are in a position that you don't like or feel awkward, be aware, understand why this is happening to you and recondition yourself to what you really wanted. this way, you become responsive to your wants, and you don't loose valuable time and effort to get it.
this is the wisdom i give you tonight. hope you get this and make it work for you :D
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